I thought it would be nice to share something that gave me a lot of HOPE during my long struggle to find the answers I needed to finally overcome my terrible deep, endless depression.
This hope came in the shape of a strange lucid dream I had which seemed to me as if it had not actually come from my own mind but someone else much wiser than myself.
In my dream, I was fishing from a wooden pontoon tied up to the side of a harbour wall, the water was not that fare from the top of the small platform on which I was standing. My fishing float and baited hock were out in the deep water quite some distance away.
Then in my dream I saw travelling slowly towards me in the calm clear water along the harbour wall, a large shoal of big fish.
As they drew near I began to excitedly reel in my line in order to try to place my baited hook straight into their path, knowing one of them would take a bite, However as I reeled in the line, nothing seemed to work properly, I was getting no-where very fast.
Frustratingly I frantically reeled in until I caught sight of a knot in the line within the reel.
I was angry and totally frustrated.
Looking down I realized that the fish had arrived and were all around me, really good-sized fish just what I was after.
All I could do was helplessly stand there looking desirously at them as they slowly swam by.
Intriguingly I noticed some of them had found the rag I had used to clean my hands after cutting up fish for bait, it had fallen halfway into the water and some of the fish were busy picking off small pieces of bait left on the material from my hands.
As I walked over to it, I noticed that one of the fish had caught its little sharp teeth in the material and was struggling to get free.
Instantly I grabbed hold of the rag and pulled it up out of the water and amazingly as I pulled, three fish came up with it and incredibly by the time they had landed on the deck they had been beheaded, gutted and cleaned, all ready for the pot.
Then immediately I woke up and instantly realized exactly what the dream was trying to tell me, and amazingly the answer to my dream was exactly what I needed to know in order to better cope with my then seemingly hopeless task of finding a clean drug-free answer to my terrible depressed existence.
What I had learned on that morning was so profound and pertinent to me at that time, that it has stuck with me ever since and has proven its worth time and time again.
And the lesson I learned was to never wholly rely on my own understanding, and never think I have to be in complete control over everything all the time, things do happen totally out of the blue and it is not always possible to accuratly predict the outcome of any situation.
By having an open mind towards any possibility and patiently allowing things to fall in to place, you can literally (if its right for you) achieve miracles.
Trying to do everything yourself and interfering too much with the natural flow of things, more often than not ends up with frustration and doing everything the hard way, so just let thing flow and watch the results unfold.
Things that you may believe to be a total disaster, I have found can very often be a total blessings in disguise or even well compensated for in some strange unexpected way.
As I continued my life after my dream, I began to realize that we humans are not capable of seeing the whole picture, creation is far bigger and more mysterious than any of us can comprehend, strange things do happen and very often we don’t know why or how.
So the overall lesson I drew from this dream was Don’t keep expecting the worst, Don’t think you have to be in total control of everything and keep a sustained open mind while you sit back and watch your future unfold.