My favourite therapy for depression

Originally pioneered during the 1960’s and 1970’s, parts therapy has evolved throughout the years into a very effective technique with many applications from depression, anxiety, weight loss, decision making to even being more focused at school also some physical problems too.
Many experts refer to a mosaic when explaining the workings of the mind, in that just as a mosaic is composed of many very different individual parts so also is our own mind made up of many parts all with their own individual duties, requirements and points of view all leading to more than one opinion and option open to us for dealing with our every day trials. Therefore exactly because of these amazing difference’s within all of us, inner conflict can be a problem. The smoker wants to give up and the over weight person wants to eat sensibly but on the other hand the smoker at the same time also wants to smoke and the eater still wants to over eat.
Parts therapy therefore is a powerful way of finally resolving inner conflict permanently, restoring clarity and direction back to our thought processes and in turn into our lives.
So fare I have found this way of working (sometimes combined with regression/progression techniques) a very affective way of helping people with many conditions of the mind and the way I use it to help with depression is to find that part of a person that still has not given up hope then look for ways to free that part up from the restrictions imposed upon it by other parts who for reasons only known to themselves are holding it back. Therefore once hope is once again restored to the mind those mechanisms associated with stress can then relax and in turn depression can lift.

Any questions please feel free to contact me at any time.


Believe in hope

Sometimes it is so easy to not see the wood for the trees or you could say “the massive elephant in the room” I say this because this Blog is a good example of this maddening situation.

Over the years I have watched and listened very intently to all those I have met down through the years, considering many interesting concepts and possibilities as to why so many people become depressed and suicidal or even end up living on drugs for the rest of their lives.
After looking at all the possibilities from many different angles (year after year) and listening to many other experts who are also searching intently for the same elusive answers I finally, after all this time realised the obvious, I now finally turned my attention to that massive elephant in the room that I saw so many times but never considered it to be the cause of the problem, rather I always assumed it to be a symptom rather than a cause.

The ubiquitous belief those suffering with depression have that there is absolutely no hope for the future is something I have been aware of from the beginning of my search for answers but never did it ever register in my mind that this very belief could be the actual culprit. Beliefs are the most powerful things in our minds, therefore actually believing that you will never be truly happy ever again will have a major effect on the whole functioning of your mind. Believing is believing.

I knew about those in the Nazi concentration camps and how many were said to display behaviour and thinking that is now accepted as depressive but it still didn’t click. These people were not mentally ill, just convinced they had no future.

So I am of the opinion that if you are suffering with depression it most likely will be because you have arrived at this terrible same conclusion and convinced yourself so well that this is the truth.
Because of this it is my opinion that the reason why so many sufferers attempt to take their lives is in order to hopefully escape the terrible future they foresee for themselves.

However I must add here that as a hypnotherapist with a long history of this condition I know it is always possible to find somewhere in a person’s mind a small part that still wants to go on and try.

Therefore I see myself as a therapist with the knowhow to mediate between the parts of the mind in order to arrive at a compromise or even bring back hope where no hope previously existed. So there is real hope inside each one of us even though we may not be aware of it.

Once you can convince yourself that there could be a day when you finally see a better future, then you really will have depression by the neck with both hands.
So please give this one some thought or see a good Hypnotherapist who understands Parts therapy and finally get in touch with the potential in you.

Anger and Depression

One of the first things I remember learning about depression when I began my search for answers, was that it is widely accepted by most respected psychiatrists that depression is the result of repressed anger or as they say ‘anger turned inward. However, at the time I found this hard to believe because when ever I had a good look at myself, I could not see any real evidence of anger plying any part in my life at all.
Shore I could remember getting irritated in the supermarket and the post office, on the roads n at work, at home, with myself, with the weather and even the cat, but as far as I was concerned, I was a mild-tempered person with an exceptional ability to think rationally.
After years of research and subsequent psychological work on myself, I slowly began to pick up subtle clues that finally gave me the wake up call I needed, I then realized *finally* that anger did indeed play a very big part in my life. Stupidly I never even realized this because I was always unconsciously repressing it and never allowing it to rise to the surface and do what nature had intended it to do, which was to motivate me into assertive action against whatever was standing in my way. I now realize that whenever I got provoked or felt threatened I always held it at bay and foolishly pushed it back down where it had come from. Now I can see quite clearly that this was due to me no longer having the self-confidence or self-esteem necessary to do anything about the things that angered or seriously concerned me, I simply became resigned to defeat, being helpless and giving in to other people’s demands. I was spineless. I was seriously vulnerable and at the mercy of any predator or abuser that came my way. I had no way of defending myself against this uncaring, selfish, hostile, money grabbing world I felt was all around me. I never believed in myself enough to confidently take action against anyone or anything. I always thought I would come out of a conflict much worse off than I was in the first place, or I would be simply fobbed off as a nuisance and someone of no consequence or perhaps I was over reacting and wrong to be angry in the first place.
This I realized was also the case with so many other depression sufferers I had met over the years, who had become programmed to be apathetic and helpless due to their bad abusive upbringing or being bullied at school or work (being at the mercy of powers beyond their control). Now I think about it, it was just like struggling in murky shark infested waters, not knowing when the next monster would turn up and viciously tear in to me, without me being able to do a single thing about it.

Well you may be thinking that my shark analogy is a bit strong or possibly out of proportion. However, it is much more accurate than you may ever realize. This is because the parts of your brain that deal with danger or threat, are the same now as they have always been, in that they have not changed for thousands of years. As a result our modern-day dangers n threats are still treated in exactly the same way as our primitive dangers n threats from the long gone past, IE lions, sharks, bears n poisonous snakes. So whenever you receive, a massive bill in the post or get pulled over by the police etc. you will still get the very same response from your primitive subconscious mind as your ancient ancestors did when encountering a pack of wild dogs or a prowling lion. So receiving a big bill in the post, is still seen by our subconscious mind as a potential injury or even death due to a deadly wild animal.
Therefore, if you were being attacked by a pack of wolves, anger would play a very important part in your dealing with your terrible attacker. However in our present day, for instance dealing with litigation, being robbed, automated phone systems, traffic jams, long cues and so on, your anger simply cannot be used, neither can you run away and hide. So all that frustrated, volatile energy has nowhere to go. In most cases in our modern world, unresolved worrying issues can go on for months n months, even years.
As time passes our anger and fear slowly builds until suddenly you realize you are totally powerless and completely at the mercy of the powers that overwhelm you. Your anger is useless and your fear too. This then triggers another *involuntary*, primitive, subconscious response, creating all those unpleasant hopeless symptoms we now know as depression.
Once I finally understood this I began to realize just how vulnerable, threatened and helpless I felt. I knew I needed to act in some way to restore my self-respect and confidence and finally put to good use the natural motivating power of anger. Then I became aware of just how angry I really was deep down inside, and my anger was considerable, unsatisfied, and by being too timid, spineless and unsure of myself to take advantage of it, depression was my subconscious’ only option. I needed to finally slam my fist down in *defiance* and once and for all, learn how to defend myself and use my anger to finally get my own way and in turn lose those deeply depressing feelings of hopelessness, victimization and apathy for good.

Suffer and Learn from IT

Yes those old sayings of clouds having silver linings do actually have some form of truth to them. Silver, gold, diamonds and other VITAL elements necessary for life such as oxygen, helium and hydrogen can only be created under extreme conditions such as exist within lightning, active volcanoes, the heart of the sun or – in the case of gold – during massive explosions caused by the death and subsequent collapse of monster suns much bigger than our own, known as Supernovas. This also applies to us, in that superior psychological elements such as true appreciation for simply being well and happy, are only truly and firmly established by extreme psychological adversity. Therefore, just as higher forms of life can now exist due to the dramatic creation of oxygen, helium and hydrogen, so also your new post-depressive state of mind will be capable of supporting a far superior level of awareness and wisdom, so don’t be disheartened – your sufferings are not in vain. In fact, if it wasn’t for adversity, life on earth would not exist.
Just as steel and even glass is made stronger by tempering with extreme heat, so you will be so much more resilient, self-confident, stable, durable and independent if you can summon up the courage and perseverance necessary to make it through the trials and ‘discouragements’ that inevitably lay between you now and your future learning leading success.

Pessimism and Depression

Imagine you are a deer feeding on grass with all your fellow deer. You suddenly hear a sharp rustle in the bushes close by. All your friends expect the worst and run like hell, thinking ‘its better to be safe than sorry’ but you are optimistic and wait a while to see if it’s not just a big bird or something equally as harmless – this has indeed been the case quite a lot lately and you have gained an advantage over your pessimistic palls by saving energy and being able to get to the best grass while they are all gone with their tails between their legs. BUT NOT THIS TIME. Oh no. It’s a big cat and it’s coming straight for you and it’s moving far faster than your optimistic mind ever expected and you’re also moving much slower than your optimistic mind gave you credit for.
Well I’m sure you can now see that after a few million years of this scenario playing out, that all the optimistic deer end up in the bellies of lions and all the pessimistic deer end up passing-on their pessimistic genes to the next generation, hence the jumpy elusive nature deer have today.
There is, however, a twist to this tale and it’s this: in the fullness of time optimism proved to be too good to lose. Optimism and all that is associated with positive thinking had to find a way and eventually, after probably a very long time, the perfect solution was found in the shape of this bundle of hard wired involuntary reflexes we now call the Fight or Flight Reflex – that now only kick in ”’involuntarily”’ whenever danger or the threat of danger is realised.
Now if you haven’t already worked it out, here is why the FFR is so relevant to us who suffer from depression: as the human brain developed over time and became more and more sophisticated (and our lives too), the line between a legitimate source of danger and a non-legitimate source of danger became more and more vague. As a result, unfortunately for some of us with strong imaginations, even worrying about something too much can trick our deep subconscious into believing there is, in reality, a very real threat which consequently mechanically starts the FFR cogs rolling, filtering out our good, positive thoughts and feelings and heightening our negative, pessimistic ‘fight or flight’ mentality.
And there is still more: unlike a deer being chased by a lion or some one stumbling upon a poisonous snake or spider, our modern day worries or horrors are not all over in a few minuets or seconds. Consequently because we now spend so much more time in a state of anxious suspense, dread or frustration etc., our worrying creates more pessimism and more pessimism induces even more worry, resulting in more and more pessimism convincing you even more that your situation is totally hopeless and then you’re… TRAPPED.
The simple fact is, your subconscious mind is incapable of distinguishing between ANXIETY or FEAR induced by a sabre toothed tiger or the very real ANXIETY or FEAR induced by an unpaid bill,being intimidated by a parent or work colleague,loneliness etc. Worrying has however been proved to be a very good thing, in that it helps us find solutions to our problems by forcing us to focus intensely on our problem and it certainly helped me to persist with my need to find my way out of depression.
However if your worrying seems to have no basis and you can’t understand whey you consistently feel anxious and unsettled, then it would be helpful to continue reading.

Thinking Filters

Have you ever seen one of those extractor fans that go above a cooker and sucks up the steam, grease and cooking smells through a charcoal filter and then releases the cleansed air back into the kitchen again?
Now these extractors are very good when the filter and fan are nicely cleaned but imagine what would happen if you never changed the filter or cleaned the fan ‘ever’?

Imagine what would happen if you shut the kitchen door and all the windows and switched that filthy old fan fully on?

What would happen is, as the air cycles through that filthy old fan and out into your kitchen then back through it again and again and again, the air in your kitchen will gradually become more and more saturated with the bad odours caught up within that smelly old fan and filter.
However, the very moment you give that old fan a good clean up and change its clogged and grimy old filter, then instantly things begin to improve.

The air gradually starts to become clean again, each and every time the saturated smelly air is cycled through the new clean filter a little bit more smell is removed until finally the whole room is fresh and clean.

Now imagine your depressed, negative attitude is that filthy old fan and the air in the kitchen is your perception of the world you now inhabit, think what would happen if you switched on that old negative fan in your head? Imagine all your thoughts about yourself, your abilities, your future, your friends, your job etc. constantly being sucked through that filthy old filter in your head, once, twice, three times, again and again, and repeatedly over and over, how you look, how clever you are, how interesting you are to others, the people around you, the weather, your desire to live etc. All your thoughts go round and round through that grubby, smelly old negative filter, blown out into your head and sucked through the filter time and time again until your whole head eventually becomes completely flooded and literally swimming in pessimism, darkness and despair.
The way you feel emotionally dictates your thoughts and your thought influence your feelings.

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Hope For Hopelessness.

I thought it would be nice to share something that gave me a lot of HOPE during my long struggle to find the answers I needed to finally overcome my terrible deep, endless depression.

This hope came in the shape of a strange lucid dream I had which seemed to me as if it had not actually come from my own mind but someone else much wiser than myself.

In my dream, I was fishing from a wooden pontoon tied up to the side of a harbour wall, the water was not that fare from the top of the small platform on which I was standing. My fishing float and baited hock were out in the deep water quite some distance away.

Then in my dream I saw travelling slowly towards me in the calm clear water along the harbour wall, a large shoal of big fish.

As they drew near I began to excitedly reel in my line in order to try to place my baited hook straight into their path, knowing one of them would take a bite, However as I reeled in the line, nothing seemed to work properly, I was getting no-where very fast.
Frustratingly I frantically reeled in until I caught sight of a knot in the line within the reel.
I was angry and totally frustrated.
Looking down I realized that the fish had arrived and were all around me, really good-sized fish just what I was after.
All I could do was helplessly stand there looking desirously at them as they slowly swam by.
Intriguingly I noticed some of them had found the rag I had used to clean my hands after cutting up fish for bait, it had fallen halfway into the water and some of the fish were busy picking off small pieces of bait left on the material from my hands.
As I walked over to it, I noticed that one of the fish had caught its little sharp teeth in the material and was struggling to get free.
Instantly I grabbed hold of the rag and pulled it up out of the water and amazingly as I pulled, three fish came up with it and incredibly by the time they had landed on the deck they had been beheaded, gutted and cleaned, all ready for the pot.
Then immediately I woke up and instantly realized exactly what the dream was trying to tell me, and amazingly the answer to my dream was exactly what I needed to know in order to better cope with my then seemingly hopeless task of finding a clean drug-free answer to my terrible depressed existence.
What I had learned on that morning was so profound and pertinent to me at that time, that it has stuck with me ever since and has proven its worth time and time again.
And the lesson I learned was to never wholly rely on my own understanding, and never think I have to be in complete control over everything  all the time, things do happen totally out of the blue and it is not always possible to accuratly predict the outcome of any situation.

By having an open mind towards any possibility and patiently allowing things to fall in to place, you can literally (if its right for you) achieve miracles.
Trying to do everything yourself and interfering too much with the natural flow of things, more often than not ends up with frustration and doing everything the hard way, so just let thing flow and watch the results unfold.
Things that you may believe to be a total disaster, I have found can very often be a total blessings in disguise or even well compensated for in some strange unexpected way.
As I continued my life after my dream, I began to realize that we humans are not capable of seeing the whole picture, creation is far bigger and more mysterious than any of us can comprehend, strange things do happen and very often we don’t know why or how.
So the overall lesson I drew from this dream was Don’t keep expecting the worst, Don’t think you have to be in total control of everything and keep a sustained open mind while you sit back and watch your future unfold.

Moving fish

Click to enlarge, the fish will then move.
On of my hypnotic art creations.