Believe in hope

Sometimes it is so easy to not see the wood for the trees or you could say “the massive elephant in the room” I say this because this Blog is a good example of this maddening situation.

Over the years I have watched and listened very intently to all those I have met down through the years, considering many interesting concepts and possibilities as to why so many people become depressed and suicidal or even end up living on drugs for the rest of their lives.
After looking at all the possibilities from many different angles (year after year) and listening to many other experts who are also searching intently for the same elusive answers I finally, after all this time realised the obvious, I now finally turned my attention to that massive elephant in the room that I saw so many times but never considered it to be the cause of the problem, rather I always assumed it to be a symptom rather than a cause.

The ubiquitous belief those suffering with depression have that there is absolutely no hope for the future is something I have been aware of from the beginning of my search for answers but never did it ever register in my mind that this very belief could be the actual culprit. Beliefs are the most powerful things in our minds, therefore actually believing that you will never be truly happy ever again will have a major effect on the whole functioning of your mind. Believing is believing.

I knew about those in the Nazi concentration camps and how many were said to display behaviour and thinking that is now accepted as depressive but it still didn’t click. These people were not mentally ill, just convinced they had no future.

So I am of the opinion that if you are suffering with depression it most likely will be because you have arrived at this terrible same conclusion and convinced yourself so well that this is the truth.
Because of this it is my opinion that the reason why so many sufferers attempt to take their lives is in order to hopefully escape the terrible future they foresee for themselves.

However I must add here that as a hypnotherapist with a long history of this condition I know it is always possible to find somewhere in a person’s mind a small part that still wants to go on and try.

Therefore I see myself as a therapist with the knowhow to mediate between the parts of the mind in order to arrive at a compromise or even bring back hope where no hope previously existed. So there is real hope inside each one of us even though we may not be aware of it.

Once you can convince yourself that there could be a day when you finally see a better future, then you really will have depression by the neck with both hands.
So please give this one some thought or see a good Hypnotherapist who understands Parts therapy and finally get in touch with the potential in you.


Depressed People help each other.

It has often been said during the peer support meetings I facilitate that you wouldn’t talk to your friends the way you talk to yourself; So after a long time it has finally dawned on me a week or so ago that this is why these groups are so helpful to those suffering with depression. The meetings literally benefit greatly from this very fact.

For instance, when listening to the stories and problems of strangers, we often find ourselves almost instinctively responding in a kind and considerate way, even though we may even recognize the same or similar situations or states present in our own lives or selves. Therefore it is very difficult to respond to others in the same way we have become accustomed to dealing with ourselves. We are not likely to turn round and shoot them down for every little mistake they may have made. We’re not likely to express our hatred for them because of their physical state, what they may have said etc. Instead those who attend my meetings always tend to be so thoughtful, understanding and up-building towards each other, therefore in consequence and amazingly, unbeknown to themselves they actually learn from this new experience of thinking positively or even lovingly towards other people and end up taking away from the meetings a much kinder, patient and more considerate attitude towards their very own selves in the process.
So helping others it seems by kindness and genuinely having a feeling of good will towards others in the same situation as you actually helps you to see the good in yourself. Helping you with your depression as it feeds off of low self esteem and a lake of kindness towards yourself.
My next article will be about the importance of feeling supported or you could say being in danger.
Thanks G.

Anger and Depression

One of the first things I remember learning about depression when I began my search for answers, was that it is widely accepted by most respected psychiatrists that depression is the result of repressed anger or as they say ‘anger turned inward. However, at the time I found this hard to believe because when ever I had a good look at myself, I could not see any real evidence of anger plying any part in my life at all.
Shore I could remember getting irritated in the supermarket and the post office, on the roads n at work, at home, with myself, with the weather and even the cat, but as far as I was concerned, I was a mild-tempered person with an exceptional ability to think rationally.
After years of research and subsequent psychological work on myself, I slowly began to pick up subtle clues that finally gave me the wake up call I needed, I then realized *finally* that anger did indeed play a very big part in my life. Stupidly I never even realized this because I was always unconsciously repressing it and never allowing it to rise to the surface and do what nature had intended it to do, which was to motivate me into assertive action against whatever was standing in my way. I now realize that whenever I got provoked or felt threatened I always held it at bay and foolishly pushed it back down where it had come from. Now I can see quite clearly that this was due to me no longer having the self-confidence or self-esteem necessary to do anything about the things that angered or seriously concerned me, I simply became resigned to defeat, being helpless and giving in to other people’s demands. I was spineless. I was seriously vulnerable and at the mercy of any predator or abuser that came my way. I had no way of defending myself against this uncaring, selfish, hostile, money grabbing world I felt was all around me. I never believed in myself enough to confidently take action against anyone or anything. I always thought I would come out of a conflict much worse off than I was in the first place, or I would be simply fobbed off as a nuisance and someone of no consequence or perhaps I was over reacting and wrong to be angry in the first place.
This I realized was also the case with so many other depression sufferers I had met over the years, who had become programmed to be apathetic and helpless due to their bad abusive upbringing or being bullied at school or work (being at the mercy of powers beyond their control). Now I think about it, it was just like struggling in murky shark infested waters, not knowing when the next monster would turn up and viciously tear in to me, without me being able to do a single thing about it.

Well you may be thinking that my shark analogy is a bit strong or possibly out of proportion. However, it is much more accurate than you may ever realize. This is because the parts of your brain that deal with danger or threat, are the same now as they have always been, in that they have not changed for thousands of years. As a result our modern-day dangers n threats are still treated in exactly the same way as our primitive dangers n threats from the long gone past, IE lions, sharks, bears n poisonous snakes. So whenever you receive, a massive bill in the post or get pulled over by the police etc. you will still get the very same response from your primitive subconscious mind as your ancient ancestors did when encountering a pack of wild dogs or a prowling lion. So receiving a big bill in the post, is still seen by our subconscious mind as a potential injury or even death due to a deadly wild animal.
Therefore, if you were being attacked by a pack of wolves, anger would play a very important part in your dealing with your terrible attacker. However in our present day, for instance dealing with litigation, being robbed, automated phone systems, traffic jams, long cues and so on, your anger simply cannot be used, neither can you run away and hide. So all that frustrated, volatile energy has nowhere to go. In most cases in our modern world, unresolved worrying issues can go on for months n months, even years.
As time passes our anger and fear slowly builds until suddenly you realize you are totally powerless and completely at the mercy of the powers that overwhelm you. Your anger is useless and your fear too. This then triggers another *involuntary*, primitive, subconscious response, creating all those unpleasant hopeless symptoms we now know as depression.
Once I finally understood this I began to realize just how vulnerable, threatened and helpless I felt. I knew I needed to act in some way to restore my self-respect and confidence and finally put to good use the natural motivating power of anger. Then I became aware of just how angry I really was deep down inside, and my anger was considerable, unsatisfied, and by being too timid, spineless and unsure of myself to take advantage of it, depression was my subconscious’ only option. I needed to finally slam my fist down in *defiance* and once and for all, learn how to defend myself and use my anger to finally get my own way and in turn lose those deeply depressing feelings of hopelessness, victimization and apathy for good.

Start a Group

When we are ill, yes the natural response is to withdraw and isolate ourselves. Psychiatrists and researchers now consider this to be a very helpful adaptation that can help slow down the spread of disease etc. However this urge to withdraw in relation to depression is not helpful, in that by isolating ones-self one actually provides depression with more of what it needs. Isolation provides the perfect environment for negative rumination, which involves such negative habitual thought processes as black or white thinking, over generalising/stereo typing, expecting the worst, focusing on the negative side of everything and one’s own weaknesses and on to negative future expectations. This then leads to feelings of Hopelessness, Insecurity, Anxiety and ultimately a deeper more entrenched state of Depression and despair. Therefore having the option to meet and connect with others who understand how you feel is a very good way to counteract this unhealthy trend. Group meetings can provide the perfect environment for you to be heard, receive helpful feedback, re-establish confidence around people of all walks of life, or even meet new friends, hence satisfying our human need for significance.

Depression, Help for Suicidal Inclinations.

Hi and thanks for arriving.

Today I am not going to write much because I know what depression can do to a reader, so I have put together something you can just sit back and watch. These two videos represent just some of the knowledge I came across during my intensive search for answers that helped me so much. Therefore it is my desire to share this essential info with you and if you find it as helpful as I found it I’m sure you’ll work out how to conduct your own further investigation. would be nice to hear from you.

Hope it helps

Thanx  Graham.

Please watch this video first in order to set yourself up for the following info Link 1

Please watch this video next Link 2

bones vid link 3

Suffer and Learn from IT

Yes those old sayings of clouds having silver linings do actually have some form of truth to them. Silver, gold, diamonds and other VITAL elements necessary for life such as oxygen, helium and hydrogen can only be created under extreme conditions such as exist within lightning, active volcanoes, the heart of the sun or – in the case of gold – during massive explosions caused by the death and subsequent collapse of monster suns much bigger than our own, known as Supernovas. This also applies to us, in that superior psychological elements such as true appreciation for simply being well and happy, are only truly and firmly established by extreme psychological adversity. Therefore, just as higher forms of life can now exist due to the dramatic creation of oxygen, helium and hydrogen, so also your new post-depressive state of mind will be capable of supporting a far superior level of awareness and wisdom, so don’t be disheartened – your sufferings are not in vain. In fact, if it wasn’t for adversity, life on earth would not exist.
Just as steel and even glass is made stronger by tempering with extreme heat, so you will be so much more resilient, self-confident, stable, durable and independent if you can summon up the courage and perseverance necessary to make it through the trials and ‘discouragements’ that inevitably lay between you now and your future learning leading success.

Pessimism and Depression

Imagine you are a deer feeding on grass with all your fellow deer. You suddenly hear a sharp rustle in the bushes close by. All your friends expect the worst and run like hell, thinking ‘its better to be safe than sorry’ but you are optimistic and wait a while to see if it’s not just a big bird or something equally as harmless – this has indeed been the case quite a lot lately and you have gained an advantage over your pessimistic palls by saving energy and being able to get to the best grass while they are all gone with their tails between their legs. BUT NOT THIS TIME. Oh no. It’s a big cat and it’s coming straight for you and it’s moving far faster than your optimistic mind ever expected and you’re also moving much slower than your optimistic mind gave you credit for.
Well I’m sure you can now see that after a few million years of this scenario playing out, that all the optimistic deer end up in the bellies of lions and all the pessimistic deer end up passing-on their pessimistic genes to the next generation, hence the jumpy elusive nature deer have today.
There is, however, a twist to this tale and it’s this: in the fullness of time optimism proved to be too good to lose. Optimism and all that is associated with positive thinking had to find a way and eventually, after probably a very long time, the perfect solution was found in the shape of this bundle of hard wired involuntary reflexes we now call the Fight or Flight Reflex – that now only kick in ”’involuntarily”’ whenever danger or the threat of danger is realised.
Now if you haven’t already worked it out, here is why the FFR is so relevant to us who suffer from depression: as the human brain developed over time and became more and more sophisticated (and our lives too), the line between a legitimate source of danger and a non-legitimate source of danger became more and more vague. As a result, unfortunately for some of us with strong imaginations, even worrying about something too much can trick our deep subconscious into believing there is, in reality, a very real threat which consequently mechanically starts the FFR cogs rolling, filtering out our good, positive thoughts and feelings and heightening our negative, pessimistic ‘fight or flight’ mentality.
And there is still more: unlike a deer being chased by a lion or some one stumbling upon a poisonous snake or spider, our modern day worries or horrors are not all over in a few minuets or seconds. Consequently because we now spend so much more time in a state of anxious suspense, dread or frustration etc., our worrying creates more pessimism and more pessimism induces even more worry, resulting in more and more pessimism convincing you even more that your situation is totally hopeless and then you’re… TRAPPED.
The simple fact is, your subconscious mind is incapable of distinguishing between ANXIETY or FEAR induced by a sabre toothed tiger or the very real ANXIETY or FEAR induced by an unpaid bill,being intimidated by a parent or work colleague,loneliness etc. Worrying has however been proved to be a very good thing, in that it helps us find solutions to our problems by forcing us to focus intensely on our problem and it certainly helped me to persist with my need to find my way out of depression.
However if your worrying seems to have no basis and you can’t understand whey you consistently feel anxious and unsettled, then it would be helpful to continue reading.